3 Life Coaching Questions Leaders Need to Ask Themselves Regularly

Every next level of your life will demand a different version of you.

Anonymous

My life coach training is foundational to the work that I do as an executive and leadership coach because helping people shift their approach to situations in the workplace requires MUCH more than simply learning new strategies.

Personal growth and development makes us become a different person… the person we are meant to be. 

As much as many of us would love to escape to a mountain top and figure out how to self-actualize in isolation, surrounded by nothing but the sound of trees and birds (myself included!)… real life doesn’t work that way.

So, instead we need to bring mountain top moments to our day-to-day routines.

And that’s actually not a bad thing because we tend to learn and grow best by working through how to effectively be “in relationship” with others… hence my never-ending fascination with difficult conversations, disagreements, and conflict resolution in the workplace.

If this resonates with you on some level, then you probably already know that our most profound experiences of personal growth aren’t easy… but they’re not meant to be. We’re hardwired to seek out stability and generally dislike change, especially when that change requires us to make fundamental shifts to how we show up in the world.

Beyond this, dealing with certain people in the workplace can be incredibly frustrating. We all have our own special blend of triggers. And, of course, it goes without saying that we’re all absolutely just as frustrating to certain other people.

[Side note: As a former conflict-avoider who still has the occasional relapse, it took me MANY years to come to terms with this last sentence. Figuring out how to rock the boat when needed, make your peace with people being annoyed with you, and still look for ways to maintain the relationship takes a commitment to self-awareness and mastery that will have you working harder than any job you’ve ever held. So if you’re struggling with this particular sentence, I hear ya!]

But if you’re a seeker… and if you’ve read this far, I suspect you are… somewhere deep inside, you know that the only way out is through. 

And this is why you’re willing to face the the “icky” emotions and real-world consequences that will ensue when you finally decide to step into the next version of yourself that your particular life path is demanding of you.

So, let me ask you 3 questions that will help you define your next level and stay on track with your higher purpose (whatever that may be), especially when you’re feeling stuck in the weeds:

(1) How do you want your workplace to be different because you were in it?

(2) How do you want to be different because of what you learned through being in your workplace?

(3) What can you do today that takes you in the direction of your goals?

Please know that your fellow seekers, such as myself, are cheering you on 🙂

Self-care Is a Leadership Competency

“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.” – Lao Tzu

I’ve had many jobs over the course of my career. I was a family law lawyer, a human rights investigator, a workplace mediator… to name but a few of my wild and wonderful forays into the search for a meaningful career.

But being a coach is the one that I feel is the most personally rewarding… and accordingly the one that carries with it the most responsibility.

I have the privilege of getting to know people at a level that they don’t readily go to with others. My clients share their deepest hopes, their biggest fears, and their most painful insecurities with me.

Part of my job is helping people to feel safe enough to open up in this way so that we can work together on moving them forward. And this can’t be done unless I know what’s actually going on inside their heads… and their hearts.

Given the above, in most of my coaching engagements, the topic of self-care comes up periodically… because wrestling with your inner demons is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage, it takes humility, and most of all, it takes self-compassion.

Knowing how to take care of yourself emotionally and physically as you embark upon this journey of inner excavation is critical to its ultimate success.

Self-care is an underdeveloped muscle (or competency if you will) for many of us. And some coachees discover along the way that it holds the key to every other leadership skill they want to work on. 

It’s also one of the topics that can be covered in the themed group coaching series that I run for organizations. As much as I love helping clients gain insight into the importance of self-care, I see even more value in having small groups of leaders talk through their strengths, opportunities for growth, and action steps together as they flex their coaching muscles with each other.

There’s something about creating a supportive leadership network that can’t be replaced by any one individual (in my humble opinion).

So the next time that’s you’re wondering whether you “should” make time to see your friends, block off a few hours to read a novel, or spend part of your morning at the gym (or doing yoga and wondering when everything started to hurt so much, like I was this morning), keep in mind that the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation… and that this can’t happen unless you take care of YOU.

If this topic or approach to coaching speaks to you, send me a message!

Much of my work as a coach and facilitator is done online, so location is never an issue. Individual coaching objectives and group coaching themes are developed through a collaborative process so that everyone is on board with what will be covered. (Other possible group coaching topics include how to bring out the best in employees, talent management, creating healthy team dynamics, having difficult conversations, leading through change, etc. The sky is literally the limit!)

I’d love to connect with you about how I can support you or your team so that more people can bring their best selves to work… every. single. day.