“And the day came when the risk to remain a tight bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
– Anais Nin
You’re a bright, motivated woman who wants to experience personal and professional success, but something keeps holding you back from stepping into your full potential.
You’ve been feeling frustrated and dissatisfied. It’s almost as if you’ve lost a piece of yourself… but you don’t quite know what part of you is missing or how to get it back.
Deep down inside, you have unrealized hopes and dreams that you’ve been pushing away.
And you’re not ready to admit this out loud just yet, but you’re secretly afraid that becoming the person you truly want to be will make everything fall apart… including you.
Hey, I’ve been there, too, and I’ve come out on the other side.
Hi! I’m Nayla Mitha.
I coach women whose self-doubt has stopped them from reaching their full potential. They wish they could feel more calm, strong, and clear, but instead they feel trapped by their insecurities.
I help them break free from the deep-rooted beliefs that are holding them back so that they can get to that successful place they’ve been dreaming about.
I’m an Associate Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation and a Certified Life Coach with the Martha Beck Institute.
I’m also someone who is intimately acquainted with self-doubt.
As a young adult I learned to cover this up quite well. If you had met me then, you would have seen a woman who seemed happy, successful, and well-adjusted on the outside… but inside I was often a big hot mess of sadness, confusion, and unworthiness.
Don’t get me wrong here… a certain amount of self-doubt is, of course, healthy.
Self-doubt keeps you humble and helps you excel when it’s well-balanced with a sense of inner pride. But the self-doubt that I struggled with was different. It was the paralyzing kind that made me shy away from who I really was and what I really wanted out of life.
At law school, self-doubt made me stop taking the courses that I was good at and enjoyed because I didn’t trust that I could consistently get good grades. The thought of failing at something I loved was too painful, so I gave up before I even had a chance to enter into the proverbial arena.
I actually won the course prize in first year taxation law… and never took another tax course after that (but perhaps that was a blessing in disguise).
After law school, I was no longer able to avoid dealing with my feelings of unworthiness.
And every new chapter of my life required me to break free from another layer of self-doubt that had been buried deep inside. Finding the courage to work through those layers is what allowed me rebuild (brick-by-brick) a true sense of inner pride and self-worth.
When I entered the workforce as a young lawyer, I left every single difficult workplace conversation feeling completely deflated because I was too afraid to speak up and rock the boat.
After years of internalizing my true feelings, I reached a breaking point and decided that something needed to shift. I stumbled across an article on mediation and began learning about how to have difficult conversations.
I started small… as I tend to do.
My first attempt at having a difficult conversation “better” than I typically did wasn’t a big blow-up or a life changing moment. It involved returning a watch to a store.
I bought my first fancy watch in my early 20’s and it had broken… for the second time in the same exact place. I suspected that the sales clerk would suggest doing the exact same thing she did the first time – send the watch away to the Montreal store for repair. And I doubted that this would work.
When she suggested exactly this, instead of arguing or caving in, I thought, OK… this is my chance to practice. I asked her with genuine curiosity, “What makes you think it will actually be repaired this time?”
And when she persisted, I continued practicing, “Help me understand… I’m happy to do what’s best here, but I’m still confused as to how doing the exact same thing will ensure that this resolves the issue this time.”
She didn’t have a good answer for me, and she knew it.
More importantly though, I remained calm and grounded in a situation where I would have normally been filled with self-doubt and heading straight into fight, flight, or freeze-mode.
I was shocked to discover how easy it was to speak up without being pushy or aggressive… and then she asked me what I wanted.
I almost fell over.
I had never been given carte blanche to ask for what I want during a customer service discussion.
Again, I thought, here’s another chance to practice. So I offered with total openness, “One of the options is that you could give me a new watch.”
And without batting an eyelid she agreed.
I was BEYOND thrilled.
But not because of the new watch… because I had finally broken free from a set of beliefs that had been holding me back for years. I had always thought that I needed to be forceful or even aggressive to deal with difficult situations and get results. But I learned that there was real power in my quiet, calm, and grounded nature.
I started applying the techniques I learned in situations with higher stakes, like disagreements with family members or in the workplace. My voice often shook at first, but I began to find win-win solutions to issues that would have remained unresolved before… and that’s what inspired me to keep going.
The shifts that occurred in my life at this point eventually helped me to find the courage to embark upon a new career path that I was passionate about – I dove headfirst into the field of conflict resolution as a coach, mediator, and facilitator.
And as I evolved into this next chapter of my life, the next layer of self-doubt that I needed to break free from revealed itself, more specifically in my work as a facilitator.
I wanted to be successful in this area of my new career and I believed that they best way to do this was to copy other facilitators who I saw as successful. I watched them intently as they were teaching and took reams of notes on what they said and did.
But when it came to facilitating my own sessions, I felt stiff, awkward, and worst of all, just plain boring. I couldn’t understand why my debriefs weren’t going well… I had studied so much and I knew the material inside out. I began to question whether I was even cut out for this line of work.
Luckily I had a fabulous coach and mentor who saw me struggling and one day said to me, “Nayla, when you’re up there facilitating, we’d love to see more of YOU. You know the Nayla that we see around the office… how can you bring more of her to your training sessions?”
These few words hit me like a ton of bricks! Talk about uncovering another deeply buried self-defeating belief – I thought that I had to hide my true self in order to be successful, when in fact the opposite was true.
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I could stop trying to contort myself to fit myself into someone else’s mould. I could just be me.
I was a little nervous the first time I tried shifting my facilitation style… but when I did, I was completely blown away.
I had fun, joked around, let my spunky side out… and at the same time covered the learning points that I knew so well because of all that darn studying.
It felt like I finally stopped limping in an area where I was born to run.
The feedback that I received on my sessions did a complete turnaround. I used to get very few comments and the ones that I did receive weren’t glowing recommendations. After that one coaching conversation, however, participants started commenting on how much they appreciated my energy, my facilitation style, the way that I explained the theory, and my personal examples.
For the first time, they were seeing ME… and they were learning more in the process!
That 2-minute conversation was one of the biggest turning points in my life and to this day I am grateful to this colleague for helping me find the inner strength to step into my true self.
In my early 40s, I kept feeling that it was time to take a break and get some distance and perspective on my journey through life thus far.
But I remained in my full time job for several years, in spite of feeling the desire to engage in a new, deeper level of personal evolution that I knew I could only get to by going on my own version of a “walkabout” (a period of introspection away from the regular day-to-day life).
Once again, a deeper layer of self-doubt had reared its head. I was in a wonderful job doing work that I loved as a coach, facilitator, and mediator… and I was afraid to rock my own boat.
I kept saying to myself, “You’ve made it! Why can’t you just be happy with everything you have?”
But by that point I knew enough to know that I had to listen to my inner voice.
Nothing calamitous happened. There was no trauma or drama.
I didn’t need to get to the point of being sick or depressed in order to make the decision to leave my job. I didn’t need to wait for my body to scream at me to get my attention.
I just needed to finally fully embrace that inner tug I was feeling.
So I took the biggest leap of faith that I’ve taken so far in my journey. I resigned from my position and spent a year travelling around the world and running my own coaching and facilitation business.
This part of my journey was incredibly significant and transformative, which is exactly what I needed to evolve.
Showing Up in the World as a Calm, Strong, and Clear Woman
Working through this last layer of self-doubt helped me to step into my passion for helping women break free from self-doubt – the very thing that I’ve had to overcome every single time I entered a new chapter of my life.
Practicing everything I’ve learned over the years has helped me tremendously in this new chapter:
- I know how to find calmness during the storms that arise in life.
- I’ve learned how to embrace my intuition, my inner strength, and my true self.
- And I know how to gain the clarity I need to forge ahead when I get stuck.
What can I say? This work is simply in my DNA.
I now get to coach amazing women who want to break free from the deep-rooted beliefs that are holding them back and I’m loving every minute of it!
Seeing my clients experience the relief they feel when they stop fighting their true selves is the best part of my day.
Because that’s essentially what self-doubt is – fighting the deeper and wiser part of yourself that’s trying to tell you, “This is not who you are. You’re made for more. You can do this!”
If you’re ready to start feeling more calm, strong, and clear…
If you’re ready to break free from the deep-rooted beliefs that are holding you back…
And if you’re ready to step into the full potential of who you truly are…
I’d love to help you. Contact me HERE to book a free consultation.
PS – In case you’re curious… here are some of the certifications that I’ve collected over the years to help me help you 🙂
- Certified Martha Beck Life Coach
- Associate Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation
- Certified Human Systems Dynamics Professional
- Certified to administer the EQ-I and EQ-360
- Certified to administer the Conflict Dynamics Profile